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Monday, 9 May 2016

You Cannot Not Communicate

“Genius is the ability to put into effect what is on your mind.”-  F. Scott Fitzgerald

The foundation, building block, essence of all that we do is based on our communication. We are always communicating. Even, our act of silence is a form of communication.

You consciously or unconsciously decide how to communicate with yourself and others. Yes, at times it is tough communicating your message and you may want to give up.  Yet, remember the words of my friend (well, a friend in my mind) Les Brown “You are bigger than your circumstances or your life situation.”

It was in 1997 I came across this notion of “You cannot not communicate”, at that time it was an absurd and ridiculous statement in my map of the world. Until I came across the image of a Japanese person bowing down to greet while in response a Western person extends his/her hand to reciprocate the greetings.

This is a complete mismatch but both individuals are correct in their way of greetings. Their cultures have taught them that this is the best way to greet. So, you can easily see a message has been communicated in such a scenario.

Both individuals could easily take offence and can accuse each other of being rude. On the other hand they could realise they need to adjust their greetings thus the communication being a good one.
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No matter what you do, you are always communicating. The communication is happening through mediums such as verbal (language, words, sentences), non-verbal (body language, gestures, emotions) and voice (tone, pace, volume).

Indeed writing is another element but the most important critical one is the communication that is happening within yourself. When a person is unable to communicate with himself or herself in a positive and productive manner than the outcomes are not pleasant.

Your ability to communicate with yourself is crucial and then only it gets easier to communicate with others. It is what is known as rapport. Rapport is all about creating the essence of trust, respect, understanding and cooperation, which all beings within you.  It involves the use of all of your senses consciously.

For you to achieve success continuously comes from understanding yourself. To do this you have to comprehend your own perception of the world. Your perception impacts and influences your decisions and behaviour. A classic error that most of us make is blaming others but this leads to sabotaging our own success.

This simply means to know how to communicate better with yourself thus achieve better outcomes for yourself. You need to realise every action you take, word or sentence you say is firstly dictated with the internal communication happening in your mind. This is where the true battle is and not out there.

In a recent interaction with a loved one of mine in her current situation and to add fuel to the fire with her internal communication she has decided to sacrifice her dreams and aspirations for others. In her communication with herself the picture she has painted is of gloom and doom. Her belief in that picture is so strong that her communication of silence clearly shows she is set on a path of becoming a martyr.

Your external communication reflects from your internal communication. It is seen through your body language, heard through your voice and through the words you use. Many people think it is about the outside appearance but what is happening internally matters more.  Indeed, first impression matters but when there is no substance to you than that first impression is useless.

In a world where most of us measure success through material wealth and fame forget the foundations with great ease.  Our focus is towards earning money by hook or crook and in this journey we forget to communicate with ourselves effectively.

There is an immense pull at worrying about what others think rather than what you think for yourself. People die with all kinds of regrets and the number one regret for people on their deathbed is “I wish I’d cared less about what other people think.” In order to move away from such a regret start the internal communication of compassion and care for yourself.


My name is Rohit Bassi and I am the founder of In Learning. My mission is about sowing the seeds of passion to help you outperform yourself by enhancing your core critical skills of communication, leadership and collaboration. I have delivered workshops to the likes of Oracle, Harley-Davidson, Emirates NBD, Emaar, Alshaya, Baskin Robbins, Mazda and many more. Please feel free to contact me via rohit@in-learning.com or call on +971-(0)55-553-2275.